Reality check Grow up

Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

Right now my life is at a crossroads. This year I graduated from college thinking things would get easier. I thought I would have a job/real life by now. Yeah, that didn't happen. I basically spent my summer relaxing trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be in my life. I applied to a few places and have had no luck. For a while I just kind of gave up.

Labor day weekend was kind MY reality check. Seriously, what the fuck am I doing with MY life? We found out my boyfriend's brother is having a baby with his fiance. WOW new flash! They are even getting married.

Well, here is a little known fact about me. I have always wanted a little family of my own. I wanted the married life young. I wanted to be married and in the process of having a kid by the time I was 24. Today I am 24, and NOWHERE near ready for that kind of a commitment. Even after 5 years. Eventually but right now our lives are not even close to being ready.  

It was like a punch in the heart. I am going to be honest, I pretty much went home and cried the whole night....I just felt so sad because I looked at my life and realized I really have nothing going for myself. I have no job, No money, and no real foundation.

I decided right after hearing the news I need to get my life together. I need to be the mature 24 year old women I thought I would be. I realized I need to grow up and figure out my life. I can't get what I want by siting on my ass living through the eyes of others. I need to create my life. I need to make it a good one worth sharing.

Today, I end this post with my three goals this year, and for the coming years. 
           Get a job. At this point any job will do! I need money!!
           Its a dream I have decided to attempt. Get into an acting class.
           Have a family of my own.

I have many dreams and goals I want to achieve and this post is just the start of my beginning.
           

Day 15

Yesterday I became a college graduate. Finally!!

Yay I made it!!

 Let me tell you I did not want to walk yesterday. However, I was forced by my mom. She was very persistent on the need to see her little girl graduate. Therefore I attended the ceremony. It was terrible at first because I did not think Michael would make it, due to work. I was very upset and sad. Not to mention I did not really know anyone in my major very well.  Thankful,l for once my nerves were working with me and I approached some girl I did not know who was in my major and for that night we were friends. Then to make it ALL worth it Micheal showed up in the middle. I was able to spot him the second he walked in. I was relieved and excited in that moment.

Now, I must say even though it was long and painful. I am VERY happy I attended the graduation ceremony because I got to see an old teacher and talk to him for a second. I had this man my first year at Eastern. Now I was very new to whole lets take college serious. I took other classes before at a different school EASY classes.

 I took Psychopathology of Childhood. Now, first off this was my first Child psy class and I jumped the gun. It was level 300 which is very advanced in child psy. I kind of forgot I should take the intro classes to child psy first. And to make matter worse I was that kid that didn't go to class as often as I should have. By the end of the semester my grades sucked. No matter how hard I studied I could not pass. On the last day the teacher called my friend and I out and said we suck and need to go to class to pass. That is COLLEGE. I  failed for the first time ever. And I hated him for it.

However, because of him I was determined to go back and do it right. I did not give up. If anything it pushed me to really LEARN and INVEST in studying and ATTEND classes regularly. From that moment on I worked my butt off to improve and continued to take all of is classes.  From thisI learned how to study and I how easy his exam really were. He made everything real life. No multiple choice all writing. I really grew to like to his exams. They were challenging but in an understanding way.

The second time around with him went a lot smoother and I did it right I took the 200 classes first. and by the of end of that semester I loved him as a teacher.  He will forever be the most inspiring teacher I will ever have had the pleasure of learning from. Once I saw him at graduation I knew I had to talk to him. I went over and hugged him told him "It is because of you I was able to pass school., You kicked my ass and got my head straight thank you." He thanked me and said I will take that with me. Talking about it now I could cry because I will miss him most of all.

This post is dedicated to Dr. Danforth. Thank you so much for being the voice I so desperately needed at Eastern. You will never know how much you truly impacted my life and complete changed my outlook on school and my field of study. 

Dannielle

After Graduation!!

Day 14

Today I blog from my phone because I really don't want to give up blogging everyday even though again I failed.

So today I finally after 6 long somewhat miserable years, hours, invested in studying, hundreds of flash cards later I graduate from college. I made it. Today at 6 I will be wearing my cap and gown waiting to hear my name called and walk across the stage to get my not diploma. Yup that's right our school emails them. But hey ill get a cool diploma folder case thing.

I'm so excited to no longer be in school and not have to stree over exams and or paper. Both of which I'm terrible at.

Now I just have to venture out into the real world and fine a big girl job! Yay! Oh the funn I'll be having with that. I'm child psych person so I'll need luck finding a job.

I've been really unexcited to walk but its important to my family so don't tell them but I'm excited to make them happy and go through with walking. I'll post pictures tomorrow!

Have a wonderful day

Dannielle