Reality check Grow up

Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

Right now my life is at a crossroads. This year I graduated from college thinking things would get easier. I thought I would have a job/real life by now. Yeah, that didn't happen. I basically spent my summer relaxing trying to figure out who I am and where I want to be in my life. I applied to a few places and have had no luck. For a while I just kind of gave up.

Labor day weekend was kind MY reality check. Seriously, what the fuck am I doing with MY life? We found out my boyfriend's brother is having a baby with his fiance. WOW new flash! They are even getting married.

Well, here is a little known fact about me. I have always wanted a little family of my own. I wanted the married life young. I wanted to be married and in the process of having a kid by the time I was 24. Today I am 24, and NOWHERE near ready for that kind of a commitment. Even after 5 years. Eventually but right now our lives are not even close to being ready.  

It was like a punch in the heart. I am going to be honest, I pretty much went home and cried the whole night....I just felt so sad because I looked at my life and realized I really have nothing going for myself. I have no job, No money, and no real foundation.

I decided right after hearing the news I need to get my life together. I need to be the mature 24 year old women I thought I would be. I realized I need to grow up and figure out my life. I can't get what I want by siting on my ass living through the eyes of others. I need to create my life. I need to make it a good one worth sharing.

Today, I end this post with my three goals this year, and for the coming years. 
           Get a job. At this point any job will do! I need money!!
           Its a dream I have decided to attempt. Get into an acting class.
           Have a family of my own.

I have many dreams and goals I want to achieve and this post is just the start of my beginning.
           

Introverted. Intuition. Feeling. Judging.

Monday, September 9: Take this short personality test and respond to your results.
 "INFJs- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power."

I care about others first and me last. I try to put my heart and soul into everything.
After reading over the definition of INFJ I can't help but laugh at how true these results are.

"Rescuing those who are in acute distress."  If you are locked out I will come to in the middle of the night. Trapped in Boston at 1 in the morning. Don't worry I don't need sleep for tomorrows events... Yes I will drive an hour and 20 minutes to save you from sleeping on a bench. Side note (My bf was visiting his sister. He came back with me thankfully for the drive home. Maybe a little bit of personal gain :)

"Accurately suspicious about others' motives," and Selective with my friends. Its weird and true in every interaction I have with people I meet. Particularly men I find myself questioning their behavior and motives. I can honestly say I have few friends with a smile on my face. I do not need 100 friends to be happy. I stick to a small deeply connected group of friends. I have always had difficultly in making and forming relationships with people. I am a bit guarded. When I meet a person and we click right away I try top hold onto that friendship. This tweet from Chelsea Kane pretty much defines my way of friendships. "Friendship is weird. You pick a human you've met and you're like, "Yep, I like this one" and you just do stuff with them."

I must say these results are pretty accurate. Although, I hate to admit I am judging, the results seems to fit. 

I found it most fascinating when INFJs are outgoing and take genuine interest in other it can be mistaken for extroverts. I for one really care about others. I love knowing what is happening with friends and family and try my best to be supportive. I do agree that although I love to stay up to date with people I am very selective with whom I share my own deepest thoughts and emotions. I find at time I do hide from other my inner feelings and only in times of great need do I confide in that one person.

Lastly,  I do find myself shutting down occasionally from the outside world. I reach this point typically once a week where I need a night or even a day to myself where I shut down and pretty much ignore my surroundings. Its a really interesting state I reach. I feel after much socializing my brain just needs a chance to relax this is typically when I turn to blogging or writing. Sometimes I just need to rebuild.

I really enjoyed this topic and researching the truth behind my behavior, actions, and thoughts. 

Day 15

Yesterday I became a college graduate. Finally!!

Yay I made it!!

 Let me tell you I did not want to walk yesterday. However, I was forced by my mom. She was very persistent on the need to see her little girl graduate. Therefore I attended the ceremony. It was terrible at first because I did not think Michael would make it, due to work. I was very upset and sad. Not to mention I did not really know anyone in my major very well.  Thankful,l for once my nerves were working with me and I approached some girl I did not know who was in my major and for that night we were friends. Then to make it ALL worth it Micheal showed up in the middle. I was able to spot him the second he walked in. I was relieved and excited in that moment.

Now, I must say even though it was long and painful. I am VERY happy I attended the graduation ceremony because I got to see an old teacher and talk to him for a second. I had this man my first year at Eastern. Now I was very new to whole lets take college serious. I took other classes before at a different school EASY classes.

 I took Psychopathology of Childhood. Now, first off this was my first Child psy class and I jumped the gun. It was level 300 which is very advanced in child psy. I kind of forgot I should take the intro classes to child psy first. And to make matter worse I was that kid that didn't go to class as often as I should have. By the end of the semester my grades sucked. No matter how hard I studied I could not pass. On the last day the teacher called my friend and I out and said we suck and need to go to class to pass. That is COLLEGE. I  failed for the first time ever. And I hated him for it.

However, because of him I was determined to go back and do it right. I did not give up. If anything it pushed me to really LEARN and INVEST in studying and ATTEND classes regularly. From that moment on I worked my butt off to improve and continued to take all of is classes.  From thisI learned how to study and I how easy his exam really were. He made everything real life. No multiple choice all writing. I really grew to like to his exams. They were challenging but in an understanding way.

The second time around with him went a lot smoother and I did it right I took the 200 classes first. and by the of end of that semester I loved him as a teacher.  He will forever be the most inspiring teacher I will ever have had the pleasure of learning from. Once I saw him at graduation I knew I had to talk to him. I went over and hugged him told him "It is because of you I was able to pass school., You kicked my ass and got my head straight thank you." He thanked me and said I will take that with me. Talking about it now I could cry because I will miss him most of all.

This post is dedicated to Dr. Danforth. Thank you so much for being the voice I so desperately needed at Eastern. You will never know how much you truly impacted my life and complete changed my outlook on school and my field of study. 

Dannielle

After Graduation!!

Breaking Down in a Catering Truck

 
Today was a good day.
It started rocky but it was all really enjoyable given the circumstance.
I spent the morning with my Ike and his sister.
My Ike works as a catering truck driver going around feeding local businesses.
He is working yet I go along for the ride and support. Hey I have nothing else to do might has well.
His sister was with us. Yes three people crammed in the truck. Pretty great and warm for this cold weather we are currently having.
So begins our day to feed the people.
However, we get into the truck and this is what we hear from Ike
Boy: Today is going to be a bad day. I bad bad day.
Girl (me): why??
Boy: reads aloud the red light "Battery not charging. Battery not charging"
So there began our half hour drive in a truck with a battery not charging.
This drive was actually really funny considering we broke down.
We had a battery pack that refused to charge the car.
So basically I figured out it was the alternator no charge typically means alternator is messed up. I've had three fails on me over the years.
So while driving I tell him go to the left lane.
Being man doesn't.
Truck fails. And we have to move over without a signal in a truck with no back window
Gosh that was fun
So yeah we sit there and then help comes and fixes the problem.
We were so late. But it was great. Everything was handled really well and there was NO freaking out!
Honestly, I was very pleased.
Two hours later we are back on track and things went well.
Got to spend time with my almost sister and spend time with my love.
Good day today.
Now after being up since 3AM I Can't wait for bed!