Youtube I get it.

As I am writing the title for the post it just occurred to me the meaning well (My) meaning of YOUTUBE. Tube bringing you to may different videos of completely different content. 

Let me beginning to say, I start out with a simple search for a specific video like Jenna Marbles  and somehow 20 videos later, I am watching videos about the tsunami back in 2011 Seriously? Why? Its crazy how I can go from a simple funny video to something so depressing and and unhappy. I don't know why but I just couldn't stop it was like broken up into 5 or 6 different clips.

THEN

There are the Awesome lovely F-ing cat videos. I really cannot get enough of those cute little creatures...My heart melts every time. The other night I was checking out a link on a cat video and somehow I am watching a families vlog and learning everything about them and how YouTube contributed to their second child. It was a cute family to watch and learn about. Check them out Devin and Erica. This is the Video that first linked me to them must see!

I just found the History tab in Youtube...Now I can really follow my streaming and how I go from one to another.

Happy Tuesday!

life after College

For me life after college is no different then being in college.

•     I still have no job.
•     No money Because I have no job 
•     I am still bored in life. 

I am starting to feel going to college for the last 6 years might have been a waste of time. I just don't understand why everywhere wants experience yet I can't get the experience if no one will hired me.
At this point I can't even get an easy High school job.

Jobs like...
Starbucks Seriously, I have applied there like 5 times in the last 6 years. I want to work in a coffee shop I promise I will give you my best work and all of my attention. Waking up at 4 AM no problem. Yet nothing each time.   WHYyyYYYY??

Mandees the clothing store..Well shit they were just mean! All judgy because I had a college Degree and wasn't working in my field of study. Wow really? That interview was terrible!! Now I feel I can never show my face in that store again.

The Children's Science Center...SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL? I liked the idea of working there and everything I would be doing. I would have been a great addition to your company. I love kids. I love science and I can handle grumpy people. Hire me please!

I guess I will end this rant as I could go on FOR-EV-ER! 


I am thinking this will become a weekly post. With weekly updates of where my job search is going. I think many people can relate as this is a common issue.

The Lucky One

So I am a bit late on this post. However, I am still going to count it. Just technically means I will post twice tomorrow with is today.

"She was struck by the simple truth that sometimes 

the most ordinary things could be made 

EXTRAORDINARY 

simply by doing them with the 

right people"

Nicholas Sparks

Some of my favorite Books are Nickolas Sparks. I absolutely love this stories. Last Summer I found a First edition copy of THE LUCKY ONE at goodwill for $2! To me it was like the best thing ever to have a first edition even though its not that big of deal I thought it was GREAT!

At first, when the movie came out I thought I'll read the book first then see the movie. However, due to school, I ended up skipping out on the whole things. I like reading books and coming up with my own pictures of the characters and scenery before seeing the movie.

Four months later I am in goodwill with Michael and I stumble on the book. I thought I must get it now its only two bucks! Thinking to myself I probably won't read you just yet. Well I was wrong Two days Later I was glued to the book. I spend about a week reading it. I am a slow reader because I REALLY like to take the whole story in. I like to get caught up and stay there for as long as possible. I swear the story is so much better when you take time to really grasp everything the author is trying to say.

Things I learned from THE Lucky ONE
          Take time to really listen to someone and give them the chance to talk. Learning this really hit me hard because I catch myself often not listening as much as I should and trying to help fix them. Sometimes people just need to be heard.
           Our everyday life is not bad at all. We shouldn't get mad over the littlest things in life. Example the Waitress forgot your drink. Don't get all Asswhole like. Just be nice and politely reminder her. People are fighting a war right now. Risking there lives everyday for us to sit in that restaurant and have that drink. Be kind.
           To love and be honest with people. Be nice and open yourself up.
            Maybe take a walk across the states with your nothing but a backpack and your dog.

Emotional photo

I just can't decided how to do this. Should I take a quick picture right now or Should I just pick one already taken. I do however, know I need to get a real camera!! I used to have a simple Digital Camera but its not on me right now. I want a pretty nice new one with all the cool fancy features. I cannot wait to have a job so I can finally buy a new pretty camera and take a million and one pictures.

 

 I decided to take a picture from the past. I picked this one because its one of the last extremely happy peaceful and emotional  photos I have taken. This was a particularly good time in my life where everything made sense and I was happy with myself and with my life. I had confidence in myself and in everything I was pursing in life. Most of all my heart was happy and in a perfect place.

I wanted a good happy picture of me where I am my truest self. I see this photo and see me without the secrets and sadness hidden deep in my eyes. 

This picture is peace, new beginnings, love, and pure joy for the life I am living. 

Happy Friday the 13th

Introverted. Intuition. Feeling. Judging.

Monday, September 9: Take this short personality test and respond to your results.
 "INFJs- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power."

I care about others first and me last. I try to put my heart and soul into everything.
After reading over the definition of INFJ I can't help but laugh at how true these results are.

"Rescuing those who are in acute distress."  If you are locked out I will come to in the middle of the night. Trapped in Boston at 1 in the morning. Don't worry I don't need sleep for tomorrows events... Yes I will drive an hour and 20 minutes to save you from sleeping on a bench. Side note (My bf was visiting his sister. He came back with me thankfully for the drive home. Maybe a little bit of personal gain :)

"Accurately suspicious about others' motives," and Selective with my friends. Its weird and true in every interaction I have with people I meet. Particularly men I find myself questioning their behavior and motives. I can honestly say I have few friends with a smile on my face. I do not need 100 friends to be happy. I stick to a small deeply connected group of friends. I have always had difficultly in making and forming relationships with people. I am a bit guarded. When I meet a person and we click right away I try top hold onto that friendship. This tweet from Chelsea Kane pretty much defines my way of friendships. "Friendship is weird. You pick a human you've met and you're like, "Yep, I like this one" and you just do stuff with them."

I must say these results are pretty accurate. Although, I hate to admit I am judging, the results seems to fit. 

I found it most fascinating when INFJs are outgoing and take genuine interest in other it can be mistaken for extroverts. I for one really care about others. I love knowing what is happening with friends and family and try my best to be supportive. I do agree that although I love to stay up to date with people I am very selective with whom I share my own deepest thoughts and emotions. I find at time I do hide from other my inner feelings and only in times of great need do I confide in that one person.

Lastly,  I do find myself shutting down occasionally from the outside world. I reach this point typically once a week where I need a night or even a day to myself where I shut down and pretty much ignore my surroundings. Its a really interesting state I reach. I feel after much socializing my brain just needs a chance to relax this is typically when I turn to blogging or writing. Sometimes I just need to rebuild.

I really enjoyed this topic and researching the truth behind my behavior, actions, and thoughts. 

Yellow Lights and Motorcyles

Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid

 Summer of 2011 I was going through a difficult time. I was babysitting 35 hours a week long days, 8AM-7PM for a family of 5 kids 2 of them were teenage girls. While, also attending summer classes 2 days a week 12PM-4PM. The only day of rest Sunday. I seriously wanted to die by the end of the summer. To make matter worse my bf and I broke up during this time.  Summer 2011 was one of the depressing times of my life. It was hell trying to get through each day and having to deal with children just made for a very cranky sad Dannielle. I would come home at night sad and annoyed at everything and everyone.

Friday July 2, 2011
  The day from hell. It was the end of the week and all I wanted to go was home. On this particular day I was driving everywhere. To add stress to equation I had a mountain of Laundry to do for the family. Oh and did I mention one of the teens and I were having a terrible day together. Its 6:30PM and I had A HALF hour left. Then I was free for 10 hours before I had to be back the next morning. Before my temporary release I had to drive the 2 younger kids to a sleep over. I forced the older sister to come with me because she was my friend and I needed to vent.

After dropping the two little ones off we are driving home and we are ALMOST THERE!!!! TWO MILES AWAY FROM HOME!!!
WAMMM! CRASH! BANG! We get into a car accident!!! I will never forget that day. I was driving the family's car with the oldest daughter and we hit Not a car but a MAN on A Motor cycle!! Mother  Hell to the Lord. Really?!?! I have never in my whole life been so afraid.  We were okay and shockingly so was the car. I felt terrible and at that moment convinced I had just killed a man!
Thankfully I did not, he was badly banged up though. It turned out we were both at fault. A witness said it looked like he hit me. Bikes don't break well and he had to have been speeding because I did not see him over the hill before the light. But, I was still at some fault because I failed to yield at a yellow light. It was an unfamiliar intersection I did not realize how the lights worked. I guess a lot of accident happen there. To be honest it should not be a two way stop light.

Seriously have never been more afraid in my whole life. I thought I killed a man and would be going to jail. Now, given the situation the worst part was calling my mom and telling her what happen. I had been really brave mainly in shock and had not cried once! Until it was time to call mom. I still remember the feeling of utter dread trying to say the words "I got into an accident." I could feel my emotions catching up and knew  the water works were coming...

A time I was afraid....

On a lighter note due to my lack of money flow I had NOT renewed my License at the time so the very nice cop had to drive the car to remove it from traffic. I had to sit in back and wait for someone with a license to get the car. So embarrassing!!!

Things I learned
No you will not go to jail.
Yes you need to have an update license
Check double check and triple CHECK all intersection before turning left
If you Do ride a Motorcycle Please be cool and wear a helmet!!!!!

Open Mind Open Heart

Day 3. Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered. 

~Be open minded with everything and more specifically every person you meet~

For Christine and Norman

I say this because to many people are quick to judge, quick to disregard an idea or a person. In this situation I am talking about people. Human are naturally leveling themselves up to one and other. We think of ways we are better then someone else whether it be out of jealousy, insecurity, or just being ignorant. We all want the best for our loved ones and sometimes we don't agree with THEIR LIFE choices or people they choice to include in THEIR lives. 

People want the best for their children. However, when your 24 year old daughter has been with the same guy for 8 years, it might be time you take a step back. Open your mind and your heart because this Man is the ONE. My best friend has been in a bi-racial relationship for the past 8 years. High school sweethearts! Her dad has never liked or agreed to the relationship because he was Black! :(  As result, the relationship was kept from her father. Until recently, when they decided to move forward in there relationship. "Time to tell Daddy"....well he was not okay with it and at this point has pushed his daughter away almost completely.

I cannot help but be so sadden by this situation. I met Norman my freshman year of high school and immediately he became one of my best friends. He is the most loyal, sincere, and  generous friend I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Norman has always been there for me when I needed a friend or a big scary black man to save me from a possible Craig's list creeper. What I love Most about Norman is he treats my best girlfriend right! For the last 8 years he has been a dedicated boyfriend to Christine. In 8 years they have never broken up, never left each other and NEVER cheated. They have a real connection and love each other to death.  Who wouldn't want a good guy like Norman for their daughter. 

Why can't you be as happy for her as I am...?

Today's advice stop judging people and get to know someone. Open your mind and heart because you never know who you are missing out on knowing or even loving. Just because he is black doesn't mean he isn't good enough for you daughter. He is the best for your daughter. 

Just because you are black doesn't mean you have no future. 
Just because you have Tattoos and Piercing doesn't make you scum. 

Love this Picture

BlogTember

The time has come again for yet another challenge
One I feel I will actually follow through with

Instead of blogging EVERYDAY (which  totally failed at)
I think I was able to make 17 out of the 31 days. 

The new Challenge is blogging every day of the week
Weekends off! Thought of by my favorite blogger
Jenni Story of My Life

Join me Monday for start of a great month of blogging as much as I can.
Jenni has come up with some great topic that I am very excited to write about.

Dannielle L)

I like to blog every OTHER day

Day 22.

So apparently we have a new kitten.  I sadly am not as happy as excepted. So in my last post I talk about getting a kitten for my grandparents. It was the most exciting and happiest I've seen them. They fell in LOVE with Stella. However, her Pit Bull Dog did not like her at all!

Back story Mouch the Pit Bull Got attacked by a cat many years ago. It was really bad and my grandparents almost took her to the vet. So naturally she doesn't like cats right away. Thinks they will hurt her. Due to this when ever a cat would come around my grandparents they would say "get the cat" "where is the cat?" Therefore, she was trained to be a bully and defend herself to cats.

My grandparents didn't think this would be a problem. They got the kitten and Mouch tried to go after her. But they thought she was just being a dog and seeing something new. They needed time. Time would make them friends. But two days later it wasn't working and the kitten was being locked up.

Now last night there was a big mess, Mouch went after Stella. Their Poodle Pudding tried to stop Mouch and thankfully my uncle was there to separate them. Then came the call to my mom and I. The kitten had to go All animals needed to be protected. It was very sad. I felt terrible bringing in a kitten giving them this joy only to have to take the kitten away.

I felt like a DCF working taking a kid away from parents who loved their children but couldn't provide. Just sad My poor grandparents.

Now we have a new kitten and its sad. I feel awful as if I have betrayed my two cats whom I love with all my heart. Olive and Frisky My girls. My mom and I wanted another cat but not this way and not now. But here she is. We love her but its just hard right now.Mainly because I feel guilty to my grandparents. Stella was their cat.  Guilt Guilt Guilt.

I do love Stella more then anything. She is too cute with her pretty grey eyes and soft little body. I hope in time it won't feel so bad having her. Cause she is quite the Gal.

Here are kitty Pictures.

 

Olive Clearly the Black one and Frisky the grey kitty! My girls on my Bed.

Happy Olive

Stella Being Cute while Sleeping!

Forced

Love!

day 20

Today is all about struggles.

First off, this blogging every day IS a big struggle. I am failing miserably. I feel awful, I think about it and be like I should blog but then I don't, Or I am just not sitting at a computer. Yeah I can blogg from my phone but its a bit of a pain. After much thought I have decided I will make this challenge last longer then may. I will continue to work on blogging everyday for a month untill I complete a full month of blogging. I believe I can do this!

Lastly, this is main reason I have been away for quite a few days I have been on a hunt looking for a kitten. Back in March my grandmother requested me to find her a kitten. Now I LOVE cats and KITTENS! Kittens are my favorite and they have not had a kitten in there house like ever. It always made me sad to go to grandparents and not have kitty to play with. So when I was instructed to find her a kitten I jumped at the opportunity! So I drove in thinking it would take days a week at most.

I went straight to Craigslist to find a kitten because was  that was the only place I could find them. Well, it turned out what I thought would be easy was actually one of the biggest challenges and most emotional as every. The process was endless. First off, there was the payment issue. We wanted a free kitten and or inexpressive. $25 seemed reasonable considering these kittens were free for the owner and they didn't usually have to do much work. So we had to turned away from those kittens. Lastly, my grandma wanted a baby! Like 4-6wks. young I Know but she has dogs and wanted to kitten to know it sooner rather then later. Effecting the options of getting a kitten,

After searching for a month, I finally got a sure thing call back about a kitten and they were only 25 which seemed reasonable. They had just been born So I had to wait a few weeks before they were ready. Called my gram, she was happy and excited. waited a few days and checked in and did not hear back . so I waited   called again. Got nothing. Then made my  mom call and found out some elderly lady would take the liter. So I lost my kitten. She was going to be an orange kitty her name would have been Tilly. Since I was getting the kitten my grandma allowed me to name her. Oh and the kitten had to be a female. Yup that added to difficulty of finding a kitten.

Now we meet what would have been Samantha, So after been let down I found another person who called back., Middle of April they were born. So had to go back to waiting again for the kitten to be ready. These were blue Russians. Now they were for sure going to be a definite. I had been calling and checking in hearing positive things. I wanted to take them at 4 weeks and give it to my gram for mothers day buttt didn't want to take her too soon. So I waited one more week. I was told everyone was going the next week on Friday So I said a few more days and it will be okay. Alllll week I was excited and looking forward to this. Went to get an address Thursday Only to find out that they were gone! My kitten was gone!!  The landlord found out about them and they had to go and she lost my number. I was so upset I felt like dying. Here I was almost three months later A day away from finally bringing my gram her kitten and I had nothing. I cried for two day.

Back to craigslist I went. I was so mad!! I couldn't handle it. I felt like I knew what it was like to go through adoption with children. Its terrible and rips you apart.


So over the weekend I was determined.to find a kitten. I was getting one!  I was orignally going to get everything for gram as a gift along with the kitten. However, I found out she already had everything. Soooo. from that point on money didn't matter! We upped our budget my mom and I. I found a family who had kittens and they were $40 which is wayyy more then I wanted to buy. But I needed the kitten search to be over! So I drove with a friend over an hour sitting in traffic to get a kitten. Then waiting for the people to show up for another hour and a half.

Finally they show up in their little blue car. We made the exchange and I finally had a kitten! After THREE long Long LONG Months We had a kitten!!! I was so happy I could cry! To make it even better I got to hold the kitten the whole way home. Icing to the cake was my gram had no idea she was finally getting her kitten! I wanted it to be a complete and total surprise  and it WAS! She was sooo Happy!!

Now meet little Miss Stella Rose!

So Shy! "who are these people? Meow?!"

He is the cat wispier! Stella loves papa! 

Favorite Photo

Day 17
Favorite Photo

 

This photo is probably one of my top favorites.It holds the a lot of emotions and thoughts of a time in my life and I still battle with. In this moment I was very much in love with Micheal. At the time we were going through a break and it had been a long 6 months of us being a part but sorta of being together. It was a very painful time and I had been hurting and missing him dearly. Well on this day we actually spent it together and had a wonderful time enjoying each other and our time together. We spent a lot of time talking and holding each other. In this picture we are actually in a public bathroom at his work hanging out. He had been working for his dad and I was always allowed to go with and help out. It was a magical moment between us together. So in this picture I am admiring how much I love him and I'm looking to him. But also remembering that any second this moment with him could be gone. So I am literally cherishing every second with him and giving my whole self to him. Trying hard to show him my love. 

This photo is dedicated to Michael my first and only. Love.