day 27 I DONT FEEL RIGHT

So the last few days I have been missing. I haven't done any work on the blogg. Sure I Have thought about it every second. However I did not post. I was also within computer range too. I'm sad about this.


Today I talk about one my kitten is attacking the computer this scares me. I'm worried she will scratch the screen. Oh boy! She is funny. I love this kitten now.


TRUST

Once it is broken it is awfully hard to get it back. Its has been an extremely bumpy road the last year. I have been through a lot and trying to deal with it all. I thought I was getting better I thought things were changing. I want to believe they are but I still feel unsure. I still feel like maybe this isn't true. Maybe I am wearing the blinders. Maybe I don't want to believe it because I don't want to lose you. I don't know. I just wish I could be told the truth. I wish that I didn't feel the way I did. It always causes problems But what am I supposed to do. I have to say something. I have to be honest. I have not been honest I have not been truthful. The pit in my stomach is telling me something bad. Usually it is never wrong. I don't want to be right. I don't want it to be true. But I have nothing left. I feel I am in a shadow. I am hiding beneath the tree. Afraid of the truth afraid I will have to face the light alone. My heart feel unsafe It feels scared and not in a good way. 

Why? d

MY FEELINGS
GREY'S ANATOMY

Callie: You feel terrible? You took advantage, he was your best friend. I tried to trust you. So much that I convinced myself that it was all in my head, that I was crazy. But I wasn't, was I? And then you pulled that thing in the cafeteria today. It's not bad enough that you humiliate me by getting in bed with my husband, you have to humiliate me at work too. George may be the one who broke his vows but you... we're women, Izzie. You did this to another woman. You took something from me. You stole something from me like a petty little thief. YOU are the one who should be humiliated. YOU are the one who should be ashamed. You are the one... don't you dare come to me for forgiveness you traitorous bitch.